[identity profile] fialleril.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] starwarsficfest
Title: Prude
Author: [livejournal.com profile] fialleril
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1477
Prompt: PT: Anakin/Padmé; He was a former slave from Tatooine, she was an aristocrat from Naboo--culture clash.
Characters: Anakin, Padmé, Sola, mention of Ryoo and Pooja
Summary: Anakin tells Padmé's nieces the facts of life, and Padmé is less than pleased.
A/N: Technically this is pre-Anakin/Padmé, as it's set during their visit with Padmé's family before they go to the lake retreat.

Prude

“I can’t believe you told my nieces about sex!”

Anakin blinks at her. He apparently hasn’t grasped the gravity of the situation, for all he says is, “Well, they asked.”

They’re standing in her room with the door closed, and Padmé’s trying to keep her voice down because the last thing she needs right now is for her mother to catch them arguing. Or worse yet, Sola. If Sola hasn’t heard yet what he did, she’ll just take their argument as further evidence of the steamy love affair she’s imagined between her sister and the Jedi. If she has heard… Well, Padmé doubts that either she or Anakin will survive much past that point.

As if to make matters worse, it’s clear that Anakin is only giving her half his attention. The other half seems to be focused on perusing the holos on her wall, as if he hadn’t seen them all already. And he’s far too calm about the whole thing.

“Pooja is four, Anakin! And Ryoo’s only six!” She forgets for a moment that she’s trying to keep this argument quiet, but she can’t seem to help herself. It’s not just the fact that he told her (very young!) nieces about sex, apparently because they asked him where babies come from. It’s also the fact that he evidently knows what he’s talking about.

Apparently the Jedi Order has an excellent sex education program. Or at least a very good biology course.

“What were you thinking?” she demands, rounding on him and forcing him to look at her. He’s still wearing that blasted unruffled expression, as though they were just discussing the weather. She almost wishes she could make him angry; it might make this easier. Maybe she should suggest that he can’t tell her nieces about sex because she’s in charge of this mission. Not very logical, perhaps, but that doesn’t seem to be much of an issue with Anakin, and that tack certainly made him angry before.

“They asked,” he repeats, unflustered, though he’s beginning to look a bit confused by her reaction. “I was surprised no one had told them before, actually.”

She stares. “Anakin, they’re four and six! Of course no one had told them!”

He’s apparently realized that something is wrong, because now he’s starting to look a bit nervous. Good. He ought to be, since Sola is going to kill them both soon.

His brows draw together and he says, somewhat awkwardly, “Well, how old were you?”

The conversation is heading into rather uncomfortable territory now, but she shrugs off her unease in favor of making her point. “I was thirteen,” she says, as though the answer ought to be obvious.

But apparently it wasn’t obvious to Anakin, because now he’s gawking openly at her. “But,” he splutters (and she can’t tell whether it’s disbelief or laughter, or perhaps some combination of both), “you were already Princess of Theed by then!”

She hasn’t considered it that way before, but she can almost hear the question in his mind. You were old enough to govern, but you weren’t old enough to know about sex? The question is disconcerting enough that she sidesteps it entirely, and instead raises her head proudly and demands, “Well, how old were you when Obi-Wan told you?”

“Twelve,” he says, and she’s just about to say “I thought so” when he adds smugly, “But I had to correct him on a few points.”

He’s truly grinning now, and she’s beginning to wonder if he’s just been making fun of her this whole time. But no, what Ryoo and Pooja told her was definitely not a figment of her imagination.

When she still doesn’t say anything, Anakin takes pity on her and adds, “My mom told me when I was four.” His voice goes quieter and more serious when he mentions his mother.

“That seems…rather young,” Padmé says carefully.

“I was old enough to ask,” Anakin says with a shrug. “But of course I didn’t understand it all then.” He turns back to the holo he was examining before, the one of herself, Ermé, and Palo on their first day in the Legislative Youth Program. “When was this?”

She ignores the question. “Anakin,” she says tentatively, “on Naboo we don’t… We don’t usually talk about…these things with our children at such a young age.”

Anakin turns around and gives her a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “So I gathered.”

There’s silence for a few moments more between them, and then Anakin adds, “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I suppose things are just different on Tatooine.”

Padmé realizes with a start that, after all this time, he still thinks of Tatooine as home. It’s a surprisingly comforting recognition. It means that not everything about him has changed, after all.

“Well, what is it like on Tatooine?” she asks, partly to defuse the situation, and partly because, although they’ve talked a lot about her own past, they haven’t spoken much about his, and she’s starting to realize just how little she really knows.

“Mom and I were lucky,” he says slowly, his eyes trained on the softly glowing holo rather than on her. “Watto was fairly important, or at least he had important friends, and he treated us well. We had one of the biggest houses in the Quarters, just for the two of us. But most of the others didn’t live like that. Usually whole families would share one room, and sometimes there’d be two or three families in one house.” He looks up at her now and surprises her with a genuine smile. “My friend Seek was free-born, and he actually had both of his parents. We used to all spend time at his house because our masters couldn’t come after us there. And sometimes, when his parents wanted to have sex, they’d say, ‘You kids go play outside now, we need some special time.’ And we all knew what that meant.” He smirks and adds, “Once there was a sandstorm, and they just told us to look out the window.”

Anakin’s laughing now, almost carefree. She feels like she’s just been told an inside joke and she doesn’t quite understand what’s so funny, but it is nice to hear him laugh again.

“I guess,” he says, his smile now more of a smirk, “when you grow up in such close quarters, you can’t afford to be a prude.”

A part of Padmé understands that this is just his way of overcoming the social difference between them. But it still feels like an affront. “I am not a prude!” she huffs, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at him.

Anakin just laughs again. “Oh, come on,” he says. “You’re acting as though I’d told your nieces some dirty and horrible secret! It’s just sex.”

“They’re too young to understand what it means,” she insists, in that tone her nieces know means “and that’s the end of this discussion.”

Apparently that tone doesn’t work on Anakin. “What was I supposed to tell them, then?” he asks with a smirk. “They wanted to know where babies come from. Should I have lied?”

“Yes!” she exclaims, exasperated. “You’re a Jedi! You’re not even supposed to talk about these things!”

Anakin’s laughing so hard now that she’s afraid someone will hear him. “Oh, stop,” she grumbles, irritated. “You know what I meant.”

To her relief, Anakin does stop laughing. “The Jedi are celibate,” he says, “but that doesn’t mean we don’t know about reality.” He seems to consider this, then mumbles, “Well, maybe Master Obi-Wan didn’t know about…” He gives an amused snort and looks her in the eye. “So what should I have told them?”

He looks so earnest and even apologetic that she’s almost willing to forgive his blunder. He grew up very differently, after all. She supposes she should have expected some cultural differences.

“On Naboo we have a tradition,” she begins. “There’s a goddess named Eilithé who brings children to couples who are—” She breaks off when she notices Anakin snickering again. “What?”

He shakes his head with a grin. “You really are a prude.”

So much for cultural differences. Now he’s just trying to aggravate her.

“I am not a prude!”

It’s just then that the door slides open and Sola peeks her head in. “Oh, I’m sorry,” she says sweetly, though she doesn’t sound sorry at all. “Am I interrupting something?”

Anakin is snickering quietly. When she turns to glare at him, he mouths “prude” and winks at her.

That’s it. Obi-Wan may be upset with her for relieving him of his apprentice, but she figures that Anakin really has no one to blame but himself.

“Actually, Sola,” she says just as sweetly, “we were just coming to look for you. Anakin here has something he needs to tell you…”

Date: 2008-07-18 05:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] januaried.livejournal.com
*sporfle* OMG, this is great! I'm wheezing with laughter over here! LOVE Anakin needling Padme without even intending to. Love this fic! XD

Date: 2008-07-18 05:56 am (UTC)
beatrice_otter: Vader and Leia (Vader and Leia)
From: [personal profile] beatrice_otter
I love the ending! The whole fic is a nice balance of serious and humor, and the ending is perfect.

Date: 2008-07-18 06:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jedinemo.livejournal.com
I love this story! It's perfect - the tone, the wistfulness for a life gone by from Anakin, the humor- everything!

Date: 2008-07-18 09:25 am (UTC)
ext_2909: (padme)
From: [identity profile] deaka.livejournal.com
Ha, I love it. :D The description of living conditions for slaves on Tatooine makes a lot of sense, and I can totally buy that Anakin would quite innocently have answered the 'where do babies come from?' question thinking it was no big deal, given he was raised in that atmosphere where sex is just a fact of life. Padme's exasperation was wonderful also. :D

Edit because I can't type coherently tonight. *facepalm*
Edited Date: 2008-07-18 09:27 am (UTC)

Date: 2008-07-18 10:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonspinner.livejournal.com
“The Jedi are celibate,” he says, “but that doesn’t mean we don’t know about reality.” He seems to consider this, then mumbles, “Well, maybe Master Obi-Wan didn’t know about…”

ROTFLOL! Well that explains everything right there.

Date: 2008-07-18 12:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emavalexis.livejournal.com
Hehehehe. I have to agree with everyone else here; this was totally fun and humorous and struck all the right notes. And yes, it totally makes sense that Anakin wouldn't understand what the big deal was, growing up where he had. In a galaxy far far away, there are bound to be loads of different cultural norms, yes? :)

Great job!

Date: 2008-07-18 01:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] luminations.livejournal.com
Ha! Awesome! And it TOTALLY fits with how prude-y I like to imagine Padme. Just because she ruled at a young age doesn't mean she knew everything!

Date: 2008-07-18 11:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] persephone-kore.livejournal.com
I can see that.

(I was amused.)

Date: 2008-07-19 12:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] luminations.livejournal.com
Ohhh interesting! I like to think of them as both being virgins. Except, of course, in the AU land where Anakin's with Palpatine first :) I'm not sure where Padme fits in there. I kinda like to not deal with her in my Ani/Palpy fics. lol

Date: 2008-07-18 01:23 pm (UTC)
ext_49434: (anakin/padme (out of line?))
From: [identity profile] praiseofshadows.livejournal.com
So perfect, so true, and so funny! ♥

Date: 2008-07-18 05:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] starfoozle.livejournal.com
“The Jedi are celibate,” he says, “but that doesn’t mean we don’t know about reality.” He seems to consider this, then mumbles, “Well, maybe Master Obi-Wan didn’t know about…”

*LOL-ing* I can totally see this happening. :D

Date: 2008-07-19 12:59 am (UTC)
ext_25678: (cwanichipmunk)
From: [identity profile] pronker.livejournal.com
Anakin is in her room and honestly wanting to learn more about her from her holos on the wall, and she is flailing around worrying about appearances and the considerable wrath of Sola. This was a fun point in the saga, the two of them striving for control on the mission. I liked that he told them where babies come from, probably simply and truthfully given their ages, and did not mislead them with an answer like, "Cleveland."

Date: 2008-07-19 01:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] frostbit-sky.livejournal.com
I loved it. memories!
I liked the culture clash and how funny they both were about revealing their social norms.

What I also love about your fic is that it rings true of how I imagine Anakin's knowledge of sex to be like. I can't tell you how many fics I have come across where they make Anakin so Clueless about sex and Padmé has to actually explain to him the birds and bees - on their wedding night no less. And it pisses me off. I would imagine your description of Tatooine's living conditions to be true as well as Anakin over hearing about sexual encounters from the pilots that came by.

Anyway... LOL at Obi-Wan having to be told a few things. Though I can imagine Anakin exaggerating.

And I can totally see how Padmé could govern a nation while uneducated about some aspects of life.
She's not a prude, she's a lady ;) LOL

Date: 2008-07-19 02:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] frostbit-sky.livejournal.com
Speaking of darker aspects, I read this great fic where one of his female friends from childhood feared being sold into a pleasure house. So I am sure he had second hand knowledge of such sad things. :(

I do imagine Anakin is a virgin here, though. But that doesn't mean he's clueless. ;)
Me too. I'm one of those who believe they both were on their wedding night.
He was studying to be a Jedi and she was married/dating her career.

LOL I am sure the Temple did have good sex ed/bio courses so I doubt Obi-Wan was that clueless.

In Anakin's book, lady and prude are synonyms, anyway.
I need to have a few words with him then. He should feel proud he is in love with a respectable woman. LOL

Date: 2008-07-19 03:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] frostbit-sky.livejournal.com
It made sense (I like discussing these points) and it was totally valid.
That is an important and never resolved issue between them, the social status and having the freedom and money to choose your pleasures, whatever they may be.
Padmé came along with Qui-Gon to explore Tatooine but how much did she really learn in one short visit? And at times I imagine Anakin was resentful & perhaps didn't feel worthy of her. Which could also be a factor in fall.

Eilithé- I always mean to ask this to other SW fic authors. How do you come up with original SW names? I always get stumped.

Date: 2008-07-19 11:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] frostbit-sky.livejournal.com
It did.
I think it helped too.

I have noticed the constant ending of é for female Naboo names. I love it.
I didn't know the Naberries' names had direct connections to Hindu religion/mythology.
That's something I'll look into more.

For Nikkei I originally typed in "Nikki" and Word didn't know it and gave me alternates to use. That is how I got Nikkei. Then I looked it up and found what it meant (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_diaspora)

The Japanese diaspora, and its individual members known as nikkei (日系, nikkei?), are Japanese emigrants from Japan and their descendants to other parts of the world.

Seemed very fitting.

Avel, at thinkbabynames.com I put in "breath" (because he can breath on his own and Vader couldn't) to find names with that meaning and Avel was a variation of Abel. Finding a name I liked and could stick with took me weeks.

Anyway, we got way off topic now :P

Date: 2008-07-20 02:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] frostbit-sky.livejournal.com
I knew about the "lotus" meaning but not the Buddhist mantra. What does it translate to?


Off Topic FTW.

Date: 2008-07-20 05:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] frostbit-sky.livejournal.com
Thank you for the links. I learned something new :)

Date: 2008-07-19 12:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] archaeologist-d.livejournal.com
I liked the story - it seemed lighthearted but there was an undercurrent of seriousness that really made the story much deeper than just some fluff.

I can certainly see that there would be resentment and a very real need on Anakin's part to prove himself worthy of Padme. It probably helped lead to his downfall.

Great job. Wonderfully done.

Date: 2008-07-19 04:03 am (UTC)
ext_3752: Concept art of Alderaanian citizen. "We are a retro planet." (PadmeHandmaid)
From: [identity profile] sunnyskywalker.livejournal.com
Hee! I can totally see this cultural clash happening many places in the SW galaxy, and living in cramped quarters like Anakin did would definitely teach you a few things. And Anakin is just so Anakin-ish with his "but I don't get what the problem is" attitude :D

Date: 2008-07-19 11:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lazypadawan.livejournal.com
As you've mentioned, Anakin would have been exposed to a lot of things as a slave and with all of the lowlifes hanging around Mos Espa. I would also imagine Anakin needed to know why he's "different" from all of the other kids. It seems to me Shmi was always truthful about her fatherless pregnancy.

Fun story!

Date: 2008-07-21 04:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saucysushi.livejournal.com
That was sweetly hilarious. I love how Anakin is oblivious to what Padme's so upset about and the insight into his childhood. People with large families and small houses know its hard to find uh, privacy.

Date: 2008-07-25 08:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] seal-girl.livejournal.com
That was great - I liked the tone, and the outward frivolousness showing something so important about the two characters. In the films it is easy to forget that Anakin did grow up as someone else's property.

*enjoys, for fish*
Sealgirl

Date: 2009-11-22 10:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sreya.livejournal.com
Oh, very funny! What's making me laugh even more is trying to imagine the circumstances under which the girls would even be asking Anakin about babies!

Date: 2013-07-11 10:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] phantompopcorn.livejournal.com
So I'm *very* late to the part but I still wanted to drop a note to say how much I enjoyed this!

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