[identity profile] fialleril.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] starwarsficfest
Title: Mixed Fruit Jelly
Author: [livejournal.com profile] fialleril
Rating: G
Word count: 779
Prompt: Post-ROTJ AU, R2-D2 and Hermione Bagwa: Artoo writes his autobiography—mixed fruit jelly
Characters: Artoo, Luke, Hermione Bagwa, WA-7
Summary: Hermione Bagwa is pleased to see her favorite customers.
A/N: Flo is the nickname of WA-7, the waitress droid at Dex's Diner.

Mixed Fruit Jelly

It had been a long and trying week (the incident with the Corellian had proven to be the least of her problems), and Hermione was more than usually pleased to see her favorite customers in the Diner that evening. It had been almost three months since Luke Skywalker and Artoo-Detoo had dropped by, and she’s missed them.

The Diner was almost completely empty when they entered, and she suspected that was not an accident. She knew that Luke frequented the Diner partly to avoid the media (Dex had a policy, after all), and Artoo… Well, there weren’t many places even on Coruscant that would serve droids.

She grinned as she approached their table, one cup of Jawa Juice and one plasma booster already prepared. Luke and Artoo might have been the heroes of the galaxy, but they were nothing if not predictable in their orders.

“So,” she said, pulling up a chair and joining them. It was a slow day. She could get away with it. “How are my two favorite customers today?”

Artoo gave a series of low, rather mournful whistles followed by what could only be described as a very rude blat.

“He’s writing his memoirs,” Luke offered. “Finished the draft, actually. But we can’t find a publisher who’s interested.”

Hermione considered this. “Sounds off to me.” She turned to regard Artoo. “You’re one of the greatest heroes in the galaxy. You fought in the Clone Wars and the Rebellion! Why wouldn’t they want to publish you?”

This time Artoo’s beeps were decidedly biting. Hermione looked at him in shock. “Because you’re a droid? Well what has that got to do with anything?”

Artoo let off a string of very rude sounding bleeps, but Luke just sighed in frustration. “Apparently it’s a policy. Every publisher we’ve looked into will only accept manuscripts from biologicals.”

Hermione snorted indelicately. She couldn’t honestly say she was surprised. In the space of less than thirty years she’d witnessed the death of two governments and the birth of those that came after, but there were some things that never changed. Still… “I don’t see how that makes sense,” she said. “You know that practically every week they’re publishing a new ‘tell-all’ book by some goon who claims to have known Vader when he was a kid.” A glance to her left reminded her just exactly who she was talking to, and she added quickly, “No offense, of course.”

Luke just laughed. “Oh, I know,” he said. “Sometimes I pick them up and look through them, just because.”

“Ever find anything good?” Hermione asked, unable to help herself.

Artoo released a string of beeps that sounded remarkably like laughter. When he added a further whistle, Luke shot him a glare and said, “Oh shut up. It wasn’t that funny.”

Hermione would have pressed him further, but the first customers of the evening rush had arrived. She heaved a belabored sigh and stood up. Customers always had the worst timing.

“Don’t go anywhere, you two!” she said over her shoulder as she made her way to the Diner’s entrance. Even as she ushered the group of Toydarians to a table and took their orders, she kept one ear trained on the conversation between the two heroes.

Artoo warbled something mournful, and out of the corner of her eye she saw Luke nod. “I know,” he said. “I wish there were more places like Dex’s out there, too.”

Artoo’s next comment sounded more optimistic, and perhaps a bit devious.

Luke gave a snort of surprise. “No, Artoo,” he laughed, “I don’t think Dex would be interested in going into the publishing business!”

Hermione smiled to herself and went to greet the next new group. Things were starting to pick up. She would probably have to com Flo off of her break soon. In fact… She reached down and flipped the call switch at her waist. No sense waiting. And it was always interesting watching Flo around Artoo. She had quite the case of hero worship.

Her smile grew as she heard Flo grousing in the kitchen. That would change soon enough. In the mean time…

Five Jawa Juices, three Sliders, a dewback patty, and a mixed jelly tart.

She paused just long enough on her way into the kitchen to glance back at their table. Flo was already in deep conversation with Artoo, and all three were laughing about something. She heard Luke say, “Don’t be so modest, Artoo. You haven’t even told her about that time on Dantooine.” As Artoo squealed in dismay and Flo immediately began demanding the story, Hermione’s smile returned.

Well, she thought. Publishing. Who knows? Dex has done stranger things.
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